Some Re-Assembly Required

A friend or lover or partner or spouse who believes in you is a precious thing. A beautiful thing. A dangerous thing.

Precious and beautiful because they know and support your dreams and plans and hopes for your future. And they’re dangerous for the exact same fricking reasons. Here’s the story—

Last week I had lunch with a Precious Yet Dangerous Friend, and she spent a good bit of time watering the seeds of my business doubts. I nursed them over the weekend and the Doubt Harvest came in on Monday.

I woke up in pieces. I didn’t know what to do next or what I would be doing it for. I didn’t believe what I was working for would ever come to be. I asked myself who the hell I thought I was, to think that I could accomplish these things. I wondered what the hell I could have been thinking when I decided to do all this.

My Precious Yet Dangerous Friend suggested a job where predictable actions would yield predictable results and predictable income. We’ve been friends for years and she knows how important my business is to me. I’ve always trusted her counsel because she’s always had my best interests in mind. I considered getting a “real” job.

And that’s when I knew I had lost my damned mind.

I shouldn’t say I lost my mind. Everything was in my head, it was my heart that was lost. I’d lost heart in my business-to-be. Entirely.

Now, all kinds of people say you shouldn’t look outside yourself for validation. That’s bullshit. They must not know who to look to.

When my inner Negative Nelly bears down hard on my dreams and hopes and plans, I gotta have other people rally against my worst enemy: Myself.

So here’s my new reassembly process and the folks who helped. Maybe it (and they) can help you sometime—

Say: Can And Will

Weeks ago Brett sent an encouraging tweet about following through on a dream. He wrote, “You can do this. You can and will.” It’s a simple sentence full of power, rich with promise, and handy in times of need. When I thought, “I can’t do this”, my next thought was: “Yeah, you can. And you will.”

I can and will do it.

Ask: Who Do You Think You Are?

Many moons ago my business coach had me list everything I could offer the world: my skills, interests, and experience along with my knowledge, values, and ideas. A wonderful task. Now when I forget what I can (and will) do, or what I was born to and born for, I can read all about who I think I am.

I know who I am.

Remember How Far You’ve Come

On Tuesday, a graphic designer friend and I talked for hours about how strategizing online income streams is just like coaching football (seriously, it is). And when I recalled we’d known each other for 20 years, I realized that I’m not at all the person I was then. I’m not even the same person as when we talked last month.

I grow every day.

Honor The Winds of Change

Buddhism’s First Noble Truth can be translated as “Nothing is permanent” or similarly “Everything changes”. Success is not permanent, but then neither is failure. A bad day seems to last forever, but the sun will surely set on it and rise on a new and different day.

Change is always on the way.

Befriend Doubt

Doubt sucks. But it can nudge us to affirm our choices, tread gently, or change direction. In response to our own and others’ doubts we might uncover a new angle, reinforce a sagging concept, or transform an idea from half-baked to well done. Good stuff came out of standing up for my Self against her (and my) doubts.

Doubt is a good thing.

Seek The True Believers

My Precious Yet Dangerous Friend got laid off last week. Her sudden, intense need to create predictability for my “job” is likely a response to the shakiness of her own. Damn good thing I know where to find people who, like me, are betting their lives on the road-less-traveled.

Others believe as I do.

Big thanks to:

• Clay Collins for taking chances and sharing his life with us.
• Tonya R. Taylor for synergizing and saying that I’m her “shero”.
• Pamela Weir for asking “When are you starting your own mastermind group?” and believing there’s an easy answer.

Reimagine The Dream

On Monday Bob originated the Dream Meme to inspire thinking and writing about—and committing to—our highest hopes. Perfect timing! I revisited what I wanted, how I was going to get there, and what I can do today to make it real. I should make a vision board to keep the Dream in sight…

I Dream with open eyes.

Embrace The Uncertain Future

On the day of the Doubt Harvest, on the cusp of sleep, I remembered Pema Chodron said to approach the unknown as “thrilling instead of threat.” I set my mind to dream of wondrous possibilities instead of unforeseen dangers. I’ll be doing that every night.

Uncertainty thrills me.

Continue With Resolve

And today’s a new day. I don’t remember my dreams, but I feel like I’ve got it together. I have new tasks and projects, things to catch up on, and plans to rethink. Today’s a new day and there’s plenty to do.

What can (and will) I get done today?

Et tu? How do you put yourself back together when some reassembly is required? Who can you count on to help?

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