6 Sure Signs I’d Be Selling Something I Shouldn’t

Funny thing about sex toys…

*blush* *coff*

See? This is what I’m talking about. Writing about sex toys is awkward for me. Even writing about NOT writing about sex toys is awkward for me. Which, as it happens, is a funny thing about sex toys.

They’re nothing special, right? Just simple household tools like a spatula or a can opener: colorful, ergonomic, and dishwasher-safe.

So when a friend found that sex toy cleaning instructions were a gap in the info-market, I dug into the research like any other writing project. I gathered a list of credible links, settled in for my first draft…and then watched the project drift away on my bashfulness and other hassles—

1) I Couldn’t Tell My Mother

Why did she call just as I clicked a link for dildo cleaners? And then politely ask the usual: “Whatcha working on today?”

Was I gonna say I was reading an illustrated step-by-step cleaning guide that featured a 10″ purple weenie dotted with “extra-pleasure” nubbins?

Hell. No.

It didn’t matter that I was almost 40…it’s my MOM.

2) LOLHusband

Later, Dan came home and we shared our news of the day. He talked about router failures and server backup cycles, then I talked about the differences in cleaning up after water-, oil-, and silicone-based lubricants. After the longest shock-laden pause imaginable, he laughed.

And laughed.

Annnnd laughed.

And then he asked if I wanted the usual help with inventing domain names. The conversation that followed was far too bawdy to repeat here (or anywhere), but Benny Hill would have been proud!

3) The Company I’d Keep

Let’s just say my visits to sex toy maintenance discussion forums were…stunning. Like all dedicated hobbyists, these folks were totally into their thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It was just difficult to read with my eyes closed.

4) Special Website Hosting Required

Overwhelmed by the content and the company, I opted for a simple, typical task: get website hosting. Except the task was neither simple nor typical. Sex toys aren’t exactly G-rated, and while the cleaning instructions might have gone unnoticed, the diagrams and photos would not have.

In the end, finding a web host to carry the content wasn’t a big problem, but the fees sure were. In a word: inflated. ‘Nuf said.

5) Special Payment Processing Required

Discouraged but persistent, I went to see about selling an ebook (and whatever else). PayPal might have gone for the ebook, but things got a little iffy depending on the direction the inventory took.

Finding a payment processor that accepted sex-related products wasn’t difficult, but—once again—the pricing was horrendous. Apparently, sex stuff is considered high-risk because credit card fraud is so common within the niche. Drama.

6) Eww! Ack! Holy… Seriously!?

But really, these were all manageable issues. Mom would probably get a laugh out of it (Dan surely did); the community was unfamiliar but active, interested, and interesting; and the ecommerce setup was just a grit-your-teeth-and-pay kind of thing.

The absolute end of the project was my search for relevant affiliate products. Jiminy Christmas, what a crazy parade of shapes, sizes, and colors that got added to my visual vocabulary. I blushed and ohhmigodddd-ed and cackled until I cried. Only a few days into it, I finally gave up on the project with a giggle and a sigh.

What’s the Lesson?

Well, it’s a little about knowing yourself and a little about finding your Right People. So it’s mostly about digging into what interests you and getting involved in a community that you can appreciate and care about.

The Web has plenty of information gaps that need filling. There are too many opportunities to settle for something that bores you. Or saps you. Or even embarrasses you :)

Just because a topic is a sure money-maker
doesn’t mean it has to be your money-maker.

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Photo credit: fdecomite