Last week I was packing for a business trip and I pulled out a couple of skirts? The first skirt was a slick black number (with an elastic waistband) that looked damned good just folded in the suitcase. The second skirt was a stiffish cream linen with a no-stretch waistband that was tailored by the Devil himself.
I held up the Skirt From Hell and wondered who else was going to wear it with me. The no-stretch waistband was twice as wide as the skirt I just packed. It was vast, for Buddha’s sake…the damn thing would fall right off. So I tried it on.
And it fit perfectly.
And so I cried.
I was already crying, so I figured I’d try on the first skirt. It was half as wide, for Buddha’s sake. The damn thing wouldn’t make it past my knees. I tried it on, anyway.
And it fit perfectly.
And I stopped crying.
I sniffed and snuffled and whispered to it:
Liar.
About those jeans…
And so I went back to packing—wary and ornery, now—grabbing two pairs of jeans that didn’t look quite the same size. I checked the sizes, the numbers matched, but I almost cracked a rib trying to zip the first pair.
(At this point I’m way past crying, yaknowhatImsayin’?)
The second pair slipped on like they were stitched by the angels…hiding every bump, smoothing every curve, making me look like a friggin rockstar.
And I whooped and laughed and yelled at them:
LIAR!!
What this means for business
Beware of productivity tools that allow us to feel just marvy about where we are when we’re way behind schedule…and what we really need is something that will squawk and beep and kick our asses into gear.
Beware of budgeting tools that emphasize income over expenditure and pat us on the back for how much we make…when what we really need is a clear picture of how much we have left after the bills are paid and our debt is accounted for. We can kiss the checks as they come in, but we really need to watch that bottom line. Every. Single. Day.
Beware of people who support our failures. It’s good of them to console us when we’ve royally fucked up, but there are a couple of folks I know (and maybe you do too?) who are quick to accept my mistakes. Maybe even a little glad for them. They’re way happy to drag the “Poor Crystal” into an Extended 12″ Mix…when what I really need is a big hug and a few words of compassion. And then to move the fuck on.
In general, we might wanna be wary of anything—or anyone—that makes our excuses for us, that is a little too forgiving, that leaves us a little too much room.
We might wanna walk away, throw away, and turn away from anything that supports our unique brand of bullshit.
Because we don’t need things that help us believe the lies we tell ourselves:
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“It’s not that fattening.”
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“I’ll finish it tomorrow…
I have plenty of time“
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“It’s not that expensive…
A check will probably come tomorrow to cover it“
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“What a huge boner of a mistake that was!
I’ll never, ever recover from it…
I may as well just give up.”
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(LIAR)
