There is a little of each of us in this sign!!

Liked the follow up… but… sounds like maybe some time for a Corona on some beach.

“I didn’t stop when things felt bad. I didn’t stop when things felt unbearable. I believed I could and should “hang in there”. I didn’t listen to my heart. I didn’t listen to my gut. Really stupid.”

Not listening is perhaps the biggest ’stupid.’

Ever heard of “Good to Great” read it if you haven’t!

MSD Ignition

So many people say, “By now I thought I would have achieved so much more.” I understand personal expectations, I have them like the rest of the world. At the same time there are so many who never even strike out on an adventure, sliding through most of the life on auto-pilot, having moments of “wtf kids wife same job oh well maybe tomo… TV’s on” every time a thought passes between their ears.

I’m not saying lower your expectations. I am saying take a look at everyone around you. Their lives, their adventures. I’m in my late-20’s and I can tell you I can already see people my age giving up on adventures I’m looking forward to, hoping for, or trying to create. Look around a little.

In the end, you’re dead on about focus in life. Keep it simple, keep it focused.

Great stuff again, always a pleasure.
Jonathan Vaudreuil´s last blog ..Cross-promote like a fool and everyone will cross you off their want lists

Also, howdy and welcome to Lynn & Greg!

@Chris —
Oh that is funny how the two experiences found us in the same place! And weird. And kinda cool. With many or few experiences to chew on, both working out what to do next. You’re thinking in new directions while I’m sifting through the archives for something old to dig into or combine. Kinda cool…

@Greg —
I didn’t say that I was stupid. I’m a smart cookie and said so at the start. I said I do stupid things. Still pretty judgmental, though, yeh? But it’s also an honest and simple tag for a host of things I’d love to have done differently. Believe me: my former self and I are laughing over the word, sometimes singing it, not assailing with it.

p.s. And I would never use those words on a young chick (or anyone else), but I’m an old hen who was talking to herself

@Laurie —
HA! My password is honest. Literally. I pretty much pledge to tell Truth each time I log in.

And are you soul-searchin’ too?! Is it that time of year or is something in the water? I can’t wait to see where it goes either. I’m doing what Mark Silver suggests: “Ask the question, and be willing to be surprised by the answer.”

I’m thinking through a good way to sift through my skills/talents/gifts. Maybe index cards so I can deal them out like the tarot? Or poker

@Lynn —
You’ve got the bestest point of view on the Life Buffet! I think I will borrow your point of view and never give it back!

Perspective Theft: Yet another surprisingly handy skill picked up on the path to greatness….

@Cath —
Oh dear! I can see where that may have been odd, but no, your Bottom Lines are some of what got me soul-searching (thank yaw!). I haven’t listened to Nick Williams’ yet, so I’ll need to get to that one.

And I absolutely love the ideas of “renaissance soul energy” and “perfectionist energy”. Something clicked when I read your descriptions of those? A couple of avenues I’ve been considering use the first one and are merciful to the second. Ooo. WTG Cath!

Out of fear of not being good enough, surely. Working it’s way around toward love though.

And not society’s rules about 40, just mine. I had expected to have done so much more by now, ya know? It’s like doing Charlie Gilkey’s mid-month review, but for mid-life! Hey wait. Maybe I should do exactly that…

And then I read the post and it was written about my alter-ego/ shadow. I so easily go down that tunnel too! Every so often, I get a tap on my shoulder and it’s my husband, with a “remember me?” expression on his face, and I feel sick as I realize I’ve done it again.

As someone who’s also afflicted with both the renaissance soul energy (where you want to live multiple lives and do many things rather than drilling down in just one thing), and the perfectionist energy (where you get pissed of with yourself when you spread yourself across too many exciting things and can’t do it all perfectly. And then you get pissed with yourself about being pissed with yourself because you know that’s just making the situation worse… you know how it goes…), I’ll share something I’ve learned along the way:

Whether you’re pursuing a vertical path (drilling down with one thing) or a tangential path (doing many things) isn’t the issue. You can be happy doing either of those. The thing that matters (and I talked about this in the Bottom-line on Nick Williams’ book, “The Work We Were Born To Do”) is whether you’re doing it from a place of love or fear. What’s motivating you to feel dissatisfied with your life so far, and to want more? Is it love and a desire to be more expansive and make a bigger contribution, or is it fear and judgment that you’re not good enough (according to society’s rules on where you’re supposed to be at 40yrs old)?

I have to go with Greg on this one…”You don’t know what you don’t know, and when you do know it, give your former self a little patience and kindness…”

You are enough. You do enough. You have enough.

Cath
Cath Duncan´s last blog ..Why You Shouldn’t Believe Everything You Were Told About Happiness and Success at Work

I cannot WAIT to see where this all takes you. And read all about it. :^)
Laurie Foley´s last blog ..If Goldilocks Ran Her Own Business

It’s one thing to recognize mistakes, to regret them, and to mourn the losses incurred from them.

It’s quite another to assail yourself constantly and viciously with judgmental labels like “stupid”. Why would you be married to a man who preferred a wife that was “stupid”? Why would your friends prefer a companion who was “stupid”?

Instead of “stupid”, what if you were just unaware? or ignorant? What if, as you say, you were aware, but really scared? Why should that be tossed aside as “stupidity”, or worse, “cowardice”?

Could you imagine saying these things to your young son or daughter? How horrible that would be.

You don’t know what you don’t know, and when you do know it, give your former self a little patience and kindness, because if you don’t, no one else will either.