Dan’s Dilemma
My husband’s employer is hosting a holiday happy hour tonight. He didn’t much want to go because it was the opposite of fun in oh so many ways. Attending the party meant: 1) leaving our warm apartment, 2) going out in the cold, 3) spending gas and time to get around the Beltway in rush hour traffic, and 4) making small talk for two hours.
Being a determined hermit, I sympathized on all points. And he dragged his feet so much that I eventually asked, “Do you have to go? I mean, what’s the worst that can happen if you don’t go? Will they fire you?”
He said they wouldn’t fire him (of course), but there was a “dilemma”: He didn’t want to leave our cozy space, but the email invite promised bonus checks (it didn’t say how much) to everyone who showed up.
I’m sorry? Did he say bonus check?
Where’s the “dilemma”?! There’s money waiting for him at a known location?! With free food?!
These are the things I asked while handing him his coat and keys, ending with, “…Go get your damned money, ya sillyhead!” as I nudged him out the door.
Seriously, it’s just silly not to leap on a chance to collect some cash when you know where it is, it’s got your name on it, and all you need to do is go pick it up.
I would love to have that chance.
Wouldn’t you?
A Little Bit O’ Risk
Working for ourselves, we can create that chance for ourselves every single day…mostly.
See, we can make grand plans to do epic shit*. And we can know what we have and we can know what we want. We can know who we know and we can know what we know and we can even know what we don’t know.
But there’s no way to tell how (or even if) our eager and hopeful efforts will pay off in the end. We have the chance, which is great, but we also have the risk, which is not.
That particular bit of uncertainty short-circuits my energy, withers my confidence, and generally kicks my ass. And not for nothing. How many projects have I taken up and taken on that didn’t take off? Must I count? Really?
So I’m in the same spot as Dan was: I’m fighting the comfort of inertia (mentally), reluctant to socialize among strangers (virtually), and not much looking forward to going out into the cold, dark night (figuratively). And then there’s also that bit o’ risk.
Many of us are, in one way or another, in that same spot: standing at the door in our coat and hat, keys in one hand and the doorknob in the other. And we’re wondering if going out there will be worth it, so we continue to stand there at the door…waiting.
Waiting…for what?
My Way IS the Highway
Just before Dan left, I was listening in on a call for entrepreneur-types where @CharlieGilkey offered:
“You all are working to be happy, and to make a difference.
If you were working just for money, there are easier ways to make it.”
Which is a statement I’m filing under the category: Bodacious Truth.
Because he’s right. I’m not working primarily for the money. If money was my first priority, I’d have a city job working with databases and be cashing a mighty, sturdy paycheck…
…and the company’s policies would likely be rigid and the penalties likely unforgiving. And I’d likely be surrounded by small minds and smaller talk. And within 3 months I would be bored and feel trapped and hate both the job and myself. Again.
Even so, it would be an easier way to earn a living than working for myself. And there are days I think about getting just that job for just that reason.
But what I want is to work with purpose on what we all agree is valuable. And I want to do it my own way. And I want to work among vibrant, creative, aspiring, and interesting (and interested) people like you.
And I also want to pay off my student loans, rebuild our savings account, go on a honeymoon, and have a professional pedicure now and then.
So.
In a little bit, it will be 2010. High time I went and got my money.
I’ve got a map, a full tank of gas, and my best gyrrls riding shotgun. Everyone else can pile in the back (there’s plenty of room) or just slip me a text when they get a minute. And if you see us cruising by, give us a wave and a holler. If we like the look of ya, we’ll pick you up.
I have no idea how long this will take, how far I’ll have to go, or how much will be there. I’ve never known, and I’m finally accepting that I never will. That’s the price.
But whatever. I’ve gotta go get my money because it’s waiting for me. It’s been waiting.
Yours is too.
Go get it.
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*I didn’t make that up. Go read: Do Epic Shit
Photo credit: kevindooley
