
It was great to be interviewed for @ChrisGuillebeau’s Unconventional feature in Psychology Today. My Mom was tickled to see my name in print, while my husband grinned and said, “Well, look at you! What have you been up to?”
The quote in the article is an excerpt, here’s both the kit and the kaboodle—
1. What is unconventional about your life?
I don’t typically consider my life “unconventional”, but when I meet or observe people I’m reminded that it’s out-of-the-ordinary for me to:
- Be self-employed and work from home,
- Prefer reading a book to watching TV (though I love CSI-type shows),
- Be happily married and contentedly childless,
- Travel alone…especially internationally,
- Make more friends through long-distance tools like Twitter than with local in-person gatherings, and
- Stay up into the wee hours planning to liberate everyone from jobs they hate and help them discover profitable work they love.
2. What was your biggest hurdle in getting where you are?
Wow. The biggest hurdle in getting to where I am has been valuing what I want to do more than what others want me to do. I tried for decades to fit in with what my parents, neighbors, friends-of-the-moment, et. al. wanted me to be. I wore, said, liked, and did what I was told so I would be acceptable and accepted.
One notably extreme effort was earning lesser grades than I might have done. Early on, my circle of girlfriends spontaneously and collectively ignored me for months because I was “too smart”. A low B average was the price for re-acceptance into the group and I paid it. I maintained that throughout grade school and, unfortunately, into college where the lesson didn’t apply.
Since then, I’ve realized my self-acceptance outranks anyone else’s expectations of me. I occasionally feel the habitual pull to “go along to get along” and “fit in so I can get in”, but I remember what those actions have already cost me and stick to my unconventional path.
3. What’s the best part about being a non-conformist?
The best part of being non-conformist is: The hunt! After I didn’t feel drawn or obligated to eat, wear, watch, read, and do like everyone else, there was all this off-the-beaten-path stuff to discover. Mainstream media mentions such a small percentage of what’s actually available to us, so there is an ongoing adventure in finding unknown and unnoted things.
I’m still learning to be an Explorer and I’m hugely grateful for the technology we have at hand today. I shop the world for handmade gifts at Etsy.com and use Twitter to hang out, network, and share ideas with folks from Maryland to Malaysia. When it comes to finding something local, iPhone apps are ideal for finding little-known restaurants. I love walking around unfamiliar cities and my husband taught me to use Google Street View for virtual walks through places I plan to visit.
4. What advice do you have for people who want to be a little more non-conformist?
Feel free to step outside your everyday circle: Try new food, pick up a new hobby, shop somewhere off the beaten path. Even a small step can make a big difference! There’s more outside of the mainstream conversation than you may imagine. And don’t worry that you won’t fit in. Out here, there’s something, somewhere, and someone for everyone.
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Photo credit: Duchamp

Thank you for publishing the extras here! I’m so happy for you.
I love what you say about liberating other people from their 9-5 jobs. I feel the same way. Ideally, my little business helps other people grow their little businesses, and that is a truly amazing realization.
Thanks Holly,
And you really do! Did you ever imagine that when you grew up that you’d be Wonder Woman?
I wrote a mission statement 9 years ago about doing just this, but I never imagined that this would be the way I’d do it. So much for having a 10 year plan, eh?
Hi Crystal,
I LOVE what you have written here, it resonates with me so much I feel as if I could have written it about myself.
Especially this sentence: ” Since then, I’ve realized my self-acceptance outranks anyone else’s expectations of me. I occasionally feel the habitual pull to “go along to get along” and “fit in so I can get in”, but I remember what those actions have already cost me and stick to my unconventional path.”
This is a really profound moment in anyone’s life, and I think especially a woman, who in many ways is taught almost from childhood to put everyone else’s needs in front of her own. And yet, its only WHEN we start to accept and love ourselves,that we can fully give to others what we are fully capable of giving and life turns into something amazing. It’s one of the great mysteries.
This was a great post, thanks!
Hey Wendi! Long time no see
So glad that you liked it. I relief, really, because I was worried about it not being a “real” post.
And you’re right about it being like that for lots of women, and I’ve met quite a few men, also, who were trained from the crib that self-sacrifice is a virtue. It can be, for sure, but even when the plane is going down, they tell you to put your own mask on before you help your child, right?
Indeed, a mystery. So good to see you again.
Hi Crystal,
Glad I’ve found your site! I’ve been an admirer of Chris’ adventures for a little while now and it’s always good to hear from other unconventional peers.
The advice about the fact that there is something out there for everyone definitely speaks to me. It took me a while to figure that one out. I quit my uber boring ‘day’ job last week and I’m planning to take on new activities such as boxercise & yoga, and feel completely excited about what’s coming my way. I feel liberated.
Conformism is something I’ve tried to escape but there was always a ‘but’. Now is the time. Traveling, discovering & growing… I can breath again.
Thanks fo sharing your wonderful life experiences with us.
Alexia
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I enjoyed your blog about how you are reminded about unconventional ways of life. I was surprised to hear that you travel along internationally and married. How does that work out? I can’t even go to the bathroom without someone following me. Yes, you are lucky for the intimate privacy of your travels

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Love the article. I use to have a 9-5 job, paid great, company car, free gas, and awesome benefits. But it just didn’t do it for me, so I quit and started my own business and now starting several others. It is totally liberating to me to control my own destiny!