What You Can’t Do (And What You Can)

·

One of my uncles is blind. Bryant’s also mentally challenged, such that even though he’s almost 60, he functions like an 8- or 9-year old. Clearly, there are things he can’t do, like a drive a car (very well or for very long) or read a book (not even in Braille).

But he can sing hymns, play the organ and piano, and lead the gospel choir for his church. He has a professional role as an organist and has been featured in the media for the work his group does for other groups with special needs. Actually, he earned more than I did in 2006, 2007, and 2008.

He has his own apartment with a roommate (caretakers come in to help). He can cook a little, operate his CD player, and has his own filing system for finding the music he wants. He has a very good memory for voices, scripture, music, and lyrics.

Also, he has his own opinions about things and can out-stubborn all of us. When he didn’t want the flu shot, he protested so vigorously that his caretakers let it go. And when he wanted his head shaved rather than keep an easier-to-maintain afro, then by golly, a bald head is what he got.

And he has an unexpected expertise in doing laundry. He can learn the knobs and settings with enough practice. And he’ll stand (or sit) for hours with his hands and forehead on the washer door because he loves the rhythm, sound, and feel of the motors, water, and clothes. He was totally impressed by my Mom’s LG front-loader because the spin cycle whirs like a bat outta hell.

And when my other uncle jokingly questioned his familiarity with Mom’s new washer, Bryant replied in all seriousness, “It’s laundry. It’s what I do.”

So even with some (presumed) mental and physical limitations, Bryant can do these things (and more). He does what he can do, and he does them pretty well.

So, really?

If we bump into each other here or in Twitter, at a conference or on the phone, know from the get-go that I don’t want to hear word one about what you can’t do. And I’ll probably be abrupt about it.

And if you read or hear me talking about what I can’t do, I hope you’ll cut me off and yank me up.

Oh, and I don’t meanCan’t Do” as in limitations. We all have those, and we would do well to know what they are. But we can transform our limitations into something useful if we dig in and savor them, instead of tossing them all in the Can’t Do pile like unopened mail.

Each of us has things we’re—

  • not physically able to do
  • not prepared to do
  • not willing to do
  • not ready to do
  • not comfortable doing
  • not all that interested in doing
  • unsure how to do
  • need help to do, et. al.

But those are a lot different than “Can’t”…they’re more like acknowledgments. Most of them are temporary and all of them are ripe for solutions—

  • Not physically able? Well, what tools or services can you find to bridge the gap between what you’re able to do and what you want to do?
  • Feel unready, unprepared, or uncomfortable? What do you need to give your skills a boost? Or could you use a shift in your self-perception instead? Maybe you are ready but you just don’t feel ready.
  • Unwilling or disinterested? Where can you get that spark of energy you need to get started? Would an incentive help? Maybe the promise of reward is enough to get (and keep) you moving.
  • Need instructions or help? Well, heck, hon!…who doesn’t? :-) What (or who) you need is out there somewhere. Reach Tweet out! Google it!

We can (and should) consider our limitations and make room for them in our plans. But they’re not the boss of us.

You can do what you can do.

So go do it.

Photo credit: Daquella Manera

Related Posts with Thumbnails
4 Responses to What You Can’t Do (And What You Can)
  1. Laurie Foley
    January 4, 2010 | 10:47 am

    Love, love, love this post, Crystal (but, hey, when DON’T I love your posts?!) And I already love Bryant. I could definitely use his laundry genius.

    When I was a math major, we spent a lot of time talking about intractable problems. I noticed then what a skill it was to learn how to recognize when a problem was “well-formed.” That’s my goal now – to have all my problems be well-formed. And to toss the intractable ones!
    Laurie Foley´s last blog ..Values-Driven Resolutions (and a worksheet, too!) My ComLuv Profile

  2. Janice Cartier
    January 4, 2010 | 10:58 am

    They are not the boss of us.. LOL.. although we do eet with a very officious French accent ( we like to do accents) “You are not zee boss of me”, and eyebrows raised, this is the most likely response you will get from my friend Sue and I when anyone tells us we cannot do something. :) ))
    Your uncle is a marvel, I am smiling at the picture of him doing laundry..and everything else…seems the world might adapt to us our own selves if we just ask it…
    Love your posts.
    No whining allowed and no “can’t”. I always test that theory if I ever slip up and use the word. Really, tosses a red flag up, if I hear I child say it, too. Oh, really?…let’s see if we can find a way.
    Janice Cartier´s last blog ..Do You Have a Warroom? My ComLuv Profile

  3. Crystal
    January 5, 2010 | 11:45 am

    @Laurie — Aha! Always good to hear that there is some mathematically logical way to manage all this * waves arms around * stuff! Well-formed problems…yeah, that’s the ticket :)

    @Janice — Oh, lunch with you and Sue must be a hoot, accents and all! And yeah, no whining allowed around here either. Unless you start with, “I’m going to whine now”, and get your whine on for a few seconds, stomp your feet if you wanna, but then you’re done. No extended remix. ;)

    There’s usually a way. There may be ways we don’t want to think about or do, but there’s almost always a way through. Or around. Or over. Or sumpin!

    Thanks for lovin’ my posts! I’m lovin’ that you love ‘em. They love y’all too.
    Crystal´s last blog ..Best Buys for 2010: Software, Webware, and Other Digitools My ComLuv Profile

  4. Local Services Expert - Marjorie
    January 7, 2010 | 2:16 am

    It’s my first time here in your blog and I’m glad that I got to read this post. I’m starting out freelance writing after a seven-year hiatus from professional writing and I was a little bit unsure of what to do. Your post inspired me to say, yes, I can do it! Thanks for sharing. I wonder how you can inspire other people to do the same?

About BBBulb | Privacy Policy | Robang Publishing