Totems, Trophies, Talismans, and Tokens

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Welcome to my office!

This is the tiny place where I strive for big things with bigger love (hat tip to Mother Theresa). It’s a desk box that hangs on the wall between a tall window and a taller pile of books. And yes, the work surface flips up to hide all the bits.

Every time I open my office I give thanks to IKEA, the patron saint of small apartments. To me, my desk represents clever design and an appreciation for small spaces.

The black & white painting inside is actually my laptop standing on end, supported by a thin bungee cord. The papers underneath are my Lift Off Retreat artifacts and the Big Bright Bulb master plan via Charlie’s wunnerful planning tools. These are the center of my work universe…everything revolves around them.

But the things in (and on) my desk are what urge me to get work done. I’m finding that it’s not enough to know what I’m doing, I need reminders of why I’m doing it. I need stuff to touch and hold and read and wonder on and nod at and talk to.

So what’s all that stuff?

From top to bottom, left to right—

On the wall

• A photo of Lift Off Retreat folks! taken by Ivan Martinez
  It reminds me that I’m not alone. And never have been. And never will be again.
• A photo I took in Jamaica of a scuba classroom.
  It reminds me there are other ways to live and work. And that there are jobs without desks or computers or calendars. Imagine that.

On the top

• It’s just a lamp. No deep meaning to it. But if I need to turn it on, it’s either raining so I may as well work or late enough that I should stop working.
• My Lift Off Retreat journal. A gift to us for seminar notes and scheming-and-dreaming. Lots of big picture thoughts in there.
  I read it, write in it, and rest my hand on it to be reminded of the plan and purpose behind the tasks I do each day.

On the shelf

• The darlingest calendar of all time. Found at Paper Doll when I was hanging out in Chicago with @reese.
  It reminds me of a cold day with a good brunch, a better dessert, and the best company. It reminds me that this is not a blog.
• My auntie-sister-mother statuette that I stole from my grandmother’s trinket shelf (with her permission).
  More on Auntie in a mo’…
• Foreign money from faraway places I’ve visited and can’t forget…in a piece of pottery I’ve had for longer than I can remember.
  The coins remind me how big the world is, and how like coins we all are: the same, but different.
• A pile of blank index cards that, to my surprise, are superb for organizing and prioritizing stray thoughts.
  They remind me to empty my head, one thought at a time. Often.

About Auntie-Sister-Mother

Check her out. She’s walking the freedom road with a tidy bundle and a walking stick to keep her step steady (and to beat back anything or anyone that gets in her way).

Slavery comes in lots of flavors, yes? Not the bit about hard labor, I mean the part where we’re owned and controlled by outside forces, where we live a life with few choices, and, like Sethe said in Toni Morrison’s Beloved, we don’t get to decide what we do with the day.

I am a slave to Citibank and Sallie Mae. Yup…the 13th amendment freed me from involuntary servitude, yet here I went and bought into the voluntary kind.  I can choose not to pay them back, but that’s unethical, probably immoral, and far more trouble than it costs. Making sure they get their due affects my choices. Every. Single. Day.

Inside forces can enslave us, too…like the insecurities and anxieties at the root of my stucknesses. There are days when I own my whole Self, but there are days when my fears decide what I do and where I go and who I speak with. They just want to protect me, I know, but they also want to own me.

I talk to auntie-sister-mother about that. Her role changes to fit my need…sometimes she’s the voice of a doting aunt, sometimes a same-age-and-sensible sister, sometimes a mother-comfort.

And she tells me about long journeys without maps and endless roads that do, eventually, end. She talks about taking one step at a time and remembering how far we’ve come. And how it is hard and it does hurt and it will be so so worth it in the end. “Just keep moving,” she says, “Don’t worry about how long it takes… just follow the signs and keep moving.”

So.

I’m dying to know…

What’s on your desk?
What does it mean?

• @theplanningcafe has a red stapler
• @naominiles has a treasured orchid from her fella
• @lannendesigns has a Buddha and two three-legged frogs holding a gold coin
• @jacquelynkitt has a stuffed monster for talking to monsters(!), and
• @debbieannen has a grey hare who makes a statement about grey hair. Hee!

What do you have? Lemme know down below…bonus points if you link to a photo of your totem. Double bonus points if you write a post about it and link to that…

Not that I’m keeping score