May
2
No Matter How Far You’ve Gone…
by Crystal Clayton, filed under In General, Keep In Touch
Image credit: cc Crystl (not me!)
~Turkish Proverb
It’s still surprising when Life tosses me an opportunity for a rethink (but at least I’ve stopped ducking or dropping them, eh?). Now, I see them coming out of the corner of my eye and field them easily, being sure to keep my eyes and mind wide open for what I know comes next— <switching metaphors> Signs pointing in a new direction.
Blessed are the Sign-makers
It’s no good sharing with y’all what’s on the signs. They’re meaningless without the context of my entire Life-to-date. But I do want to share my thanks to my Sign-makers: Becky, James Hipkin, Jeremy, Kelly, Shawn, Sterling, Wendi, and others—and especially Brett—for what they’ve written. In the comments here, in Twitter, and on their own blogs, their words have been bright humongo signs with glitter and bells stuck on. Thankfully, they all point in the same direction 
The right road turned wrong
Which is all to say, I’m taking the next two semesters off my Master’s program at Capella University and don’t intend to return. The University Road isn’t “wrong” of course, just wrong for me. And while it used to be right for me, it’s surely the wrong road now. There’s no call to turn back, though. I needed the classes I’ve taken and I’m better off for having taken them. But I’m not continuing down the paved and finely landscaped University Road to the Land of Advanced Degrees. Metaphors aside, Capella hasn’t changed, but a recent rethink revealed that my goals have changed considerably, and so have my needs and my situation—plenty enough reason to pause my progress, think things over, and make a new plan. I went back to school for all the things I wasn’t getting from my long habit of trial-by-fire learning. As you can imagine, that was great for getting me through the task at hand, but it left my work open to unanticipated, and therefore unresearched, issues and problems. I went back to school for four things a university environment promises that my self-teaching obviously didn’t deliver—theory, structure, community, and credibility. And Capella keeps the promise: 1) They select the most awesome textbooks, 2) the course syllabus is always solid, thorough, and challenging, 3) the online school environment encourages collaboration, and 4) in the end they give 3rd party proof that I know what I’m doing in my specific, chosen arena. Except, like Dan pointed out recently, Capella is a career-oriented school and I don’t have a career path anymore. So while the textbooks and structure still work, the community and credibility areas are lacking for me. The other learners all have “real” jobs and busy lives, and while courseroom interactions fit into their schedules, casual exchanges outside of class do not. And for me, a degree is flimsy credibility at best. It’s a great piece of paper for securing a promotion, ensuring a raise, or getting to the next level of education…but it ain’t a portfolio, it ain’t a track record of success, and it ain’t social proof. Collaboration without community. Credibility without street cred. Clear signs for change. So I’ve worked out a way that better suits my situation, my goals, my needs and ME, while still getting the education I want. It will be just as challenging, far more fun, probably just as effective, and cost a helluvalot less.
The wrong road, made right
There is, and was, nothing wrong with being self-taught. But I wasn’t going about it the right way. My old task-based knowledge-as-needed approach left icky gaps, but an approach reflective of formal education will do me just fine:
- Theory University bookstores, Amazon reviews, and expert advice will help me select the best textbooks for my topics. Ideally, the texts will provide comprehensive background on the topic, a detailed glossary, and point to additional free resources online.
- Structure There are plenty of well-organized guides with nibble-sized instruction and practical examples, such as the “…In 24 Hours” series. The ideal text will take me step-by-step through projects where I can easily manage my progress, pick up theory along the way, and validate my work as I go.
- Community I’ve met more helpful, encouraging, community-minded people in 2 months on Twitter than in all my years at Capella (I got a grad certificate in Instructional Design for Online Learning before trying a full Masters). Also, there are topical forums full of experts (certified and otherwise) who have made a personal commitment to welcoming folks and answering their questions. I’ll be on my own, but never alone.
- Credibility After reading on social proof for bloggers [thanks @ittybiz!], I knew I had to make a change. A degree isn’t worth as much in the blogosphere as rank and ratings. The clincher was seeing how Alexandria Brown gathered her experience, success, and media proof for cred. A degree was mission-critical when I was trying to get out of my cubicle and into an office, but now I’m making a place for myself online. No one will see me study, but there will be plenty of proof that I have.
Where ya goin’?
But really, this isn’t about me. It’s about all of us heeding the resistance we tip our hand to when we delay, hesitate, waffle, and procrastinate. This is about taking a moment to STOP and rethink our journey before we take even one more step. This is very much about taking the “Last Exit Before Toll” ramp. This is very, very much about not approaching an armed checkpoint without the proper papers. But most of all, this is about looking for—and paying attention to—the many signs that tell us: 1) we’re on the wrong road, and 2) where we can find the right one. Sometimes I stop to find I just need different company for the journey. Other times it’s better shoes! This time, I needed a different map.
Et tu? Are you on the right road? How do you know?
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34 Responses to “No Matter How Far You’ve Gone…”
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Whew! Taking a short break from blogging, folks. More posts coming soon. Thanks for your patience!
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Heh. I’m sure I’m *not* on the right road, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen it that I’m pretty sure I’m in another state, and my transmission won’t take this off-roading much longer…
Okay, metaphor carried too far.
This is a great post, Crystal. You put into words what I’ve been thinking about for a while (in particular why I’m not pursuing formal post-graduate education), and I suspect that I’m going to be coming back to this post at least a few times over the next few weeks, as my sense of where the right road is becomes more clear.
Wow. Good for you. It really hit home for me. The old standards ‘good’ or ‘credible’ or ‘qualified’ is changing. It’s not any easier, but it’s different and much tougher to fake.
Thanks for writing this!
Recent blog post from Mark Dyck: An even funnier Sales Letter
Crystal,
Thank you for a very inspiring post, and congratulations to you.
It can be very hard to make a decision like this. I know, I have done it. I have about 90 percent of a Masters of Engineering completed, and it is well over 10 years since I left that road and tried a new one.
I am now ready to choose another road. This time, the right one. The one that takes me down the road *I* enjoy most, not the one that everyone else says is good for me.
I’m going to steal from Robert Frost now:
“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
Good luck on your journey, Crystal.
I’ll be joining you, soon.
-Brett
Recent blog post from Brett Legree: viking fridays - the unwise man.
Hi Crystal,
Thanks for this post. At the moment I’m coming to an end of a road - my undergraduate programme has 2.5 weeks left, then I’m done.
At the moment I’m quite confused about what road to take next - there’s so many options open to me.
What I’ve realised from you post is that the best thing to do is to risk taking a wrong road, otherwise I might end up taking no road at all.
David
Recent blog post from David | beplayful: Best of April (with link love)
Crystal,
Aaaah! I love writing the signs, darlin’, and oh, I am glad to inspire others (that is what it’s ALL about!), but golly, for a minute I felt a heavy burden on my shoulders.
“Tiny” side story (my stories are never tiny): I went to college “the first time” when I was young and brash and taking the world in huge gulps. (Now I’m older, but otherwise about the same.)
I worked myself to the bone, double-majored and double-minored, and loved all the work but knew I hated where it was heading me from about a year into it. What I especially loved was closeness with other young brash overachievers. Yeah, and then one of them started loving me, and I went with that. After three plus years in college and over a year with Mr. Overachiever, I left school.
Relevance, relevance: My family always thought I left school “for” Mr. Overachiever. I could have left school two years earlier, when I knew I had no idea what good I was doing myself, but my long friendship with various overachievers was probably what kept me there so long. He was horrified that I wanted to “find myself.”
I left school for sanity, and for direction, which appeared almost immediately. Never a regret.
Much later I went back to school, armed with that direction. Family no doubt still blames him, though he’s long gone (*sigh*), and I still thank him for encouraging me to try to stick it out but being supportive when I knew that was wrong.
I value education pretty highly, but only when you know why. Otherwise you wake up someday in misery and don’t quite know how you got there.
If you’re sure, then I am sure it’s right for you. You wouldn’t leave school “for” anyone but you.
Best wishes,
Kelly
Recent blog post from Kelly: Tip of the Week: Stand and Deliver
Hi Chris and welcome!
LoL Not at all too far, very funny and very familiar feeling too!
Really glad that you liked the post, and that it may help you coast through this next bit.
One thing I didn’t say up there, but likely should have, is how important it was that I was moving on something. It was the right thing for the moment, and there’s a lot of value in that. I don’t think I’d be where I am now, or as happy now, if I hadn’t gone back to school. And I wouldn’t know how to walk this next road, either.
Which I guess is to say, maybe there is no wrong road, if it helps us get to the right one?
When I started reading this I thought “oh shoot what have I done…how did I help talk someone into quitting school!!” That doesn’t seem like a good thing!
But as I read on, I totally get it…
Timing is everything and doing what seems like it *should* be right for all the wrong reasons is a pretty good indicator that you are heading down the wrong path.
I wish you the very best and I am here as your partner in friendship in any way I can help.
Recent blog post from Wendi Kelly: Slow Cooking Frogs
Howdy Mark! Thanks for your comment, and the shout on Twitter. That was a first for me, and it tickles me to no end
And funny that you would mention “tougher to fake”. Dan (my hubby-to-be) was just talking about people who he bumps into who are “paper MCSE’s”, that is folks who have premier Microsoft certifications but insufficient experience to validate their paper cred. They folks aren’t fakes, per se, but while they may be excellent test takers, they’re at about 50/50 for effective performance in real-life situations. With that in mind, it’s hard to value paper over experience for that field. Not for every field, of course, but in his world the paper means more when it reflects experience, not replaces it.
Hi Brett—Oh I so love that poem, and I was thinking of it when I wrote about the paved and glossy education road. I tried not to think too hard on what they less taken road looks like
At least I’ll be in good company!
David! Welcome and thanks for your comment and most of all: Con-grad-ulations!!!
Huge achievement, HUGE!
Like I commented to Chris a bit ago, I’m rethinking the post a bit and I don’t believe there are “wrong” roads—just roads we’ve chosen to leave because we’ve found a different, better road. I mean, how wrong could my earlier paths have been if they brought me to a path that makes me happy? It’s hard to have regrets, when every choice I made (even the really, really dumb ones) led me to a good place.
All to say, if you keep moving on whatever road you pick, I expect it will either become the right one, or come to the right one. You’ve got it exactly right. Savor the options, make a choice, and keep moving.
Hiya Kelly!—It’s always funny (though not always in a ha-ha way) to reflect on folks’ perceptions of our actions (and our own), at the time, and later, and see how it all adds up.
I was the exact opposite in my ill-suited bachelors program! I took the underachiever route, trying to get through it by drawing as little attention as possible. I skated through with decent grades all around, but never locked in on the knowledge I was there for, and never heeded the call of the classes I did really well in and enjoyed. I just kept trying to fit in where I was. Silly, silly girl!
I did drag myself through the program, but it took 2.5 extra years to happen.
You’re dead right. Whichever direction we take, choose to do, path to walk, whatever…having a Why is key. Even if it’s just “To see what happens next”, it’s a decision made. Drifting on other people’s decisions, and their ideas for our future doesn’t ever seem to have a happy ending.
@Wendi
LoL! Yes, I promise it’s a good thing! Y’all didn’t talk me into quitting school, it’s just y’all’s posts and comments and interest in my blog helped me find my way to more suitable choices. Going to school is my default mode, or sumpin
And thanks so much. You’re a doll of a partner in friendship, and the best help you can give is to keep on writing that blog o’ yours. Somehow, your posts get me stirred up and calmed down at the same time. Love ‘em.
@Crystal,
That is one of my favourites too, I’m glad it made you smile.
What does the road less traveled look like? Well, so long as you don’t drive too fast, and go into the ditch (!), they are usually much more interesting. Beautiful scenery. Little eclectic craft stores that sell nice jelly. And so forth. A whole lot better than the superhighways.
I’m happy to be your traveling companion… this will be a lot of fun
Recent blog post from Brett Legree: from dusk till dawn. a story about running.
Awesome Crystal, and Congratulations!
I made the tough decision out of school to NOT go to college/uni. The things I was interested in were either extremely expensive at the time (3D Animation) or just kind of stupid to go to school for (Web Development) (Stupid to go to school for because the environment was changing so quickly I;d come out of school and be way behind the actually tech on the web).
I Also left a company I co-founded in ‘02 when I realized my focus was on ‘getting the websites done and the clients in the door’ rather than actually making sure I was doing good work. I left that road and started out on my own, and have been that way ever since.
It’s been great - and tough. However the road has always been clear that I have alot more fun in life doing it this way.
I’m flattered to get a thanks from you Crystal - and I know you’re going to really be happy with your decision.
Shawn
The analogy might be better if it said “take an exit” rather than “turn back”. You don’t really want to retrace your steps backward, you want to immediately move forward. Life is too short.
Recent blog post from Andy: 1
Hi Andy and welcome!
You’re absolutely right. We may find it useful to look back, but it’s not usually helpful to actually go back.
Thanks for your comment
Amazing self-analysis, Crystal! It’s been a pleasure to get to know you, and I look forward to reading more of your insights.
Recent blog post from Becky McCray: Embrace good things in the Brag Basket
[...] the possibilities. I was inspired by a recent post by Crystal at BigBrightBulb, who recently changed directions in pursuit of her passion. Crystal points out that once you’ve realized you’re on the wrong path, the only thing [...]
Howdy Shawn, and thanks
You clever fellow, thinking it all through at the start as you did! It would take a lot of fingers and toes to count all the money you saved with your good sense. If you ever wanted to go back, it would be there, but in the meantime it sounds like you’re moving ahead wonderfully with work you really enjoy.
Which is why you’re such a help to me? Those quick brainstorming sessions we havein Twitter, 140 characters at a time, are a nice little butt-kick for me. And you’re so matter-of-fact about being out and about working on your own, while a part of me still thinks “When am I going to get serious and get a real job?” LoL
Thanks for your comment, and your energy, and your contagious confidence!
Crystal,
I applaud your courage in deciding to change paths like this. It’s certainly not an easy decision to make, but it sounds like the right one. I’ve wrestled with the merits of higher education myself and am still on the fence. I’m very much a self-motivated learner, like you, but there is something to be said for the structure of school to force you to stick to a certain learning schedule.
Another concern I have with self-learning is the tendency to gravitate toward what we know we are comfortable with. Higher education is more likely to force us to face issues and perspectives we had never considered. These are often the things that truly help us grow as individuals. How can one integrate that sort of growth into the self-taught environment? That’s the question I’ve been wrestling with myself recently.
Thanks for once again making me stop and think about the path I’m on. Thanks to all the commenters above as well for the insight and inspiration. My own story resonates with many of yours. I started school as an engineer and realized fairly quickly that it wasn’t for me. I changed my major three times before I found the path that felt right…
Kyle Claypool / OnYourBusiness
Recent blog post from Kyle / OnYourBusiness: IDEO on Following Your Passion
Hi Becky! Welcome and thanks
I’m glad to finally be going in a direction that feels right. Next step is building the right job for myself…I do so love your Small Biz Survival for jump starts and pointing the way. Right now I’m working through your post in how to position myself as an expert. Very encouraging, very concise. Love it!
Crystal,
Changing paths is a wonderfully refreshing thing to do. It has kept me young for a very long tine.
Thanks for the call out but what did I say / do to influence your decision? If it was something smart I would like to know so I can repeat
James
Hi Kyle! Thanks, and welcome back. Missed ya around here
I agree completely about leaning toward the comfort zone when it comes to learning. Easy enough to do because, well, comfortable stuff is easy to do
What may make a the difference is having specific projects to work on. Like, I anticipate getting my butt whupped by some programming languages that intimidate me. I would avoid them if I could, because looking at the code makes me feel like a complete moron! lol But I’m gonna (wo)man up and work with them because they’re the keys to successful projects.
You’re right about the structure, too, and getting new perspectives. I’m going to look to the Web for that…forums, blog posts, and books too. If I can get some cash together I’d love to go to a conference or two each year. For me, this time, “self-taught” doesn’t equal “learn it by yourself”…there’s a much bigger and in some ways better community online than in my current classroom.
And what good sense you had in college, to just keep searching and changing paths until you got a good fit!
Hi James! It’s not just a specific thing you said, it’s that you toss out ideas, or an angle to look at, or something to peek at, and it’s so very helpful. You do it allll the time. If I was to pick one specific thing: Do you remember in Twitter a week+ ago, I tweeted:
going insane because one of my best skills is always in demand but I don’t enjoy doing it, it doesn’t seem to be respected, and pay is poopy…So my big question is: How do I package software support/training so it’s 1) manageable for 1 facilitator, 2) pays well, 3) fun, 4) unique
And you replied: Package software support, make Flash movies. They are everything you want, well perhaps not unique, 3 out of 4 isn’t bad Which, by the way, after much gabbing and projecting, hubby and I decided is THE way. And a plan is coming together. Action starts when I get free of this class. Hoozah!
All to say, if you want to repeat…just keep bein’ you
Hi Crystal,
Thanks, it’s good to be back! Things are finally settling down enough to permit me to get back to blogging a bit more regularly…
You make a good point about forums and blogs and other social resources out there. I think it would be interesting to gather a group of similarly driven people to help serve the same purposes (theory, structure, community and credibility) that you mention wanting from the school setting.
… In hindsight, I suppose the 24 comments before this one fill precisely that role already… But maybe something with even more structure would be beneficial in certain cases. For instance, we recently started hosting executive book studies for our clients. We spend six weeks or so in a guided discussion of books like The E-Myth and Customers for Life, and everyone benefits from the shared wisdom of the group. It has been an awesome experience so far.
Best,
Kyle / OnYourBusiness
Recent blog post from Kyle / OnYourBusiness: IDEO on Following Your Passion
Hi Kyle—Your business book discussion sounds really interesting…how many folks in the group?
Your thought of a structured social of ’similarly driven’ folks sounds like Napoleon Hill’s mastermind group…something to think on…many thanks for that!
We’ve actually got about 10 participants in our E-Myth study right now. My partner and I direct the discussion with some questions that we feel hit the core ideas of each chapter, and send out some points to ponder for each chapter to keep people thinking. We kicked things off with a web/phone conference to introduce ourselves and discuss our motivation for joining the book study, and after that discussion is mostly done in a forum. We have a final wrap-up meeting at the end to sorta tie it all together and set some goals.
And you’re absolutely right, the Mastermind Group idea is exactly what I had in mind. It’s certainly an idea worth looking into…
Kyle Claypool / OnYourBusiness
Recent blog post from Kyle / OnYourBusiness: IDEO on Following Your Passion
Crystal
Quitting grad school is a tough choice. I did a doctorate. Half way through I was absolutely miserable and wanted to quit. The only think that kept me going was pure stubborness. I was past the half way point so I might as well stick it out.
Those last two years of my PhD were the most miserable in my life, it sucked the soul right out of me.
And Yeah, I got my degree. I had three reasonably good years at a job in my field. Followed by 7 years of being treated like crap in various other jobs.
I’m not using my PhD now. It didnt’ help me financially and I’m thinking of a major career change anyway.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different, if I had quit back then, instead.
Let me know how it turns out for you.
Recent blog post from Friar: Cubicle Envy…
Hi Kyle—10 sounds like a goodish number, and I like the way you’ve got it structured too. Everyone can move around with their day and contribute when they can. Everything I’d want in a book club with none of the stuff that would make it difficult to participate. Like group coaching, in a way, but centered around a book. Hmm…
…
Okay, lol, now I’m lost in thought. Your comments always do that to me.
Anyway, I’m going to at least start the E-Myth tonight. I got a copy weeks ago at your suggestion and it’s still sitting by my bed untouched
Many thanks for your comment, and sharing your executive book club project!
Hi Friar! That sounds like such a struggle for you, and I so so understand.
It took me 3 extra “innings” to drag myself through that architecture program. Like you, I only finished it because I had already invested so much time. Every semester I considered changing my major, but never did. I still have nightmares about it, and have plenty of those same What Ifs.
I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Literally
A thousand blessings, CW
Talking very frankly, My wrong road took me to heights of my life and I am at the peak on a wrong but a better destination.
Qaswer, I’m not sure I’d call that a wrong road, then.
Hi Qaswer, and welcome
I’m with Chris! If it’s the better road, that makes it the right one. Like my ex- used to say, “Whatever choice you make, don’t waste time looking back on it. Spend your time making it the right one.”
[...] Pithy sayings [...]